Great. No date for the new year ball. What a great way to see in the New Year. Everyone is going to be coupled up. And I will be a billy no mates in the corner with my camera. Finding it hard to focus on positive things at the moment. Feel like I've been used and lied to again. Although I guess it's my own fault for falling for all the bullshit again. I know that I need to move on but it's easier said than done. Here's hoping that the New Year will bring me a handsom man to sweep me off my feet.
Bye for now.
Friday, 31 December 2010
Thursday, 30 December 2010
You got me wrapped around your finger...
I write to you from my bed. Feeling poorly and a little bit sorry for myself. Sick of making a fool of myself. January will be a fresh start. As if it never happened. I laid all my feelings on the line and they got thrown back at me. So I guess thats is that. "There's gotta be somebody for me out there".
Heres a song for you.
Bye for now.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=GB#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=k7WI7FWuFCw(copy and paste into browser)
The Cranberries - Linger
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true
And, honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
Heres a song for you.
Bye for now.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=GB#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=k7WI7FWuFCw(copy and paste into browser)
The Cranberries - Linger
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true
And, honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Hoarding.
Afternoon folks.
So two days of rain and the snow has all gone. I'm both happy and sad. I love being able to drive all the way up the lane to the stables and not having to walk from the bottom. But I do miss everything being white. Now everything looks soggy and dirty. But it's got me thinking, what is it about snow that we love so much? That makes us behave like kids? I'm the first to admit that I had a good old moan about the snow as it buggered up travel plans and Christmas presents, but I was secretly over the moon about the fact that on Christmas day there was snow outside my window. I love the white glow that sneaks in through your curtains first thing in the morning. I love how still everything goes before the snow starts to fall again. But still I don't understand what gets us so excited. Sorry for the soppiness but there is something magical about being outside when it's snowing. If you've got any ideas as to why we love snow so much, please enlighten me.
I also realised, whilst running a bath last night that I am a hoarder. I keep things. I keep clothes that don't fit because of "sentimental value". I keep birthday cards and gift bags. But mostly I keep smellies. Bubble bath, perfume body lotion. And it's not that I intend to hoard it, it's not even that I don't want to use it because these are my favourite kinds of presents. It's just that I always think "I'll keep that for a special occasion". But a year later, I've hardly made a dent in my smellies! I've decided I need to use them! Live for the moment! I know that if tomorrow I get hit by a bus, my last thought is hardly going to be "Damn I wish I'd of used up all my Very Irresistible Givenchy shower gel", but you get the idea. I save them for "special occasions" but what counts as a special occasion. And then usually, I'm in a rush to get out and forget to use it. There was a time when I'd bathe in Calvin Klein bubble bath, wash with the corresponding CK shower gel, cover myself with the same body lotion and then spritz with that same perfume. Now I can barely remember to put perfume on!
Perfume is probably the thing I save the most. So long that it goes off! And when I find a bottle of Gucci Rush buried amongst my other neglected perfumes gathering dust on my shelf I think, "God I love that perfume", and cover myself in it, only to discover that yes, perfume does go off and now I'm going to smell like cat wee all day! The irony is that my handbag weighs a ton thanks to the four (I kid you not) bottles of perfume rolling round in it, all of which go unworn!
OK, so new years resolution number one, make the most of my smellies. Wear them everyday! Use them all up! Because I'm lucky enough to have well spaced birthday to Christmas ratio, so technically my supplies will be replenished every six months. As it has been this Christmas. I have to say, my favourite gift set this year has been my Twilight Eclipse, shower gel, shimmer body lotion, and shimmer body spray. It smells a lot like the Diesel for women, that came in a red bottle and smelled very coconutty. I used to wear it all the time, loved it. But the shimmer body lotion makes your skin look like a vampire in the sun! Amazing!
That's all folks.
Bye for now.
So two days of rain and the snow has all gone. I'm both happy and sad. I love being able to drive all the way up the lane to the stables and not having to walk from the bottom. But I do miss everything being white. Now everything looks soggy and dirty. But it's got me thinking, what is it about snow that we love so much? That makes us behave like kids? I'm the first to admit that I had a good old moan about the snow as it buggered up travel plans and Christmas presents, but I was secretly over the moon about the fact that on Christmas day there was snow outside my window. I love the white glow that sneaks in through your curtains first thing in the morning. I love how still everything goes before the snow starts to fall again. But still I don't understand what gets us so excited. Sorry for the soppiness but there is something magical about being outside when it's snowing. If you've got any ideas as to why we love snow so much, please enlighten me.
I also realised, whilst running a bath last night that I am a hoarder. I keep things. I keep clothes that don't fit because of "sentimental value". I keep birthday cards and gift bags. But mostly I keep smellies. Bubble bath, perfume body lotion. And it's not that I intend to hoard it, it's not even that I don't want to use it because these are my favourite kinds of presents. It's just that I always think "I'll keep that for a special occasion". But a year later, I've hardly made a dent in my smellies! I've decided I need to use them! Live for the moment! I know that if tomorrow I get hit by a bus, my last thought is hardly going to be "Damn I wish I'd of used up all my Very Irresistible Givenchy shower gel", but you get the idea. I save them for "special occasions" but what counts as a special occasion. And then usually, I'm in a rush to get out and forget to use it. There was a time when I'd bathe in Calvin Klein bubble bath, wash with the corresponding CK shower gel, cover myself with the same body lotion and then spritz with that same perfume. Now I can barely remember to put perfume on!
Perfume is probably the thing I save the most. So long that it goes off! And when I find a bottle of Gucci Rush buried amongst my other neglected perfumes gathering dust on my shelf I think, "God I love that perfume", and cover myself in it, only to discover that yes, perfume does go off and now I'm going to smell like cat wee all day! The irony is that my handbag weighs a ton thanks to the four (I kid you not) bottles of perfume rolling round in it, all of which go unworn!
OK, so new years resolution number one, make the most of my smellies. Wear them everyday! Use them all up! Because I'm lucky enough to have well spaced birthday to Christmas ratio, so technically my supplies will be replenished every six months. As it has been this Christmas. I have to say, my favourite gift set this year has been my Twilight Eclipse, shower gel, shimmer body lotion, and shimmer body spray. It smells a lot like the Diesel for women, that came in a red bottle and smelled very coconutty. I used to wear it all the time, loved it. But the shimmer body lotion makes your skin look like a vampire in the sun! Amazing!
That's all folks.
Bye for now.
Monday, 27 December 2010
For my friend...
My best friend is now going through what I went through a few short months ago. I've never said to anyone in a dilemma "I know how you feel", but in this case I really do and it's hard to see someone going through it and knowing how hard it is. She's being so brave.
Nearly 3 months on I still miss him so much. I see him from time to time but it's not the same. New years is 5 days away but I'm not making any resoloutions. Of course I'll be looking forward to a new year, hoping for better things. Guess I'll have to wait and see.
Work has been crazy since the start of the sale as you can imagine. Only two weeks left until my contract is up and I have to say I will be a little sad to leave. I've made some lovely friends there.
My plan for the new year is to throw myself into uni. Focus on the things I can have, like a good degree, rather than the thing I can't have.
Anyway, hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and that you all have a good new year.
Bye for now.
Nearly 3 months on I still miss him so much. I see him from time to time but it's not the same. New years is 5 days away but I'm not making any resoloutions. Of course I'll be looking forward to a new year, hoping for better things. Guess I'll have to wait and see.
Work has been crazy since the start of the sale as you can imagine. Only two weeks left until my contract is up and I have to say I will be a little sad to leave. I've made some lovely friends there.
My plan for the new year is to throw myself into uni. Focus on the things I can have, like a good degree, rather than the thing I can't have.
Anyway, hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and that you all have a good new year.
Bye for now.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Snow is fallin'...all around us!
Hello there everyone, 6 short sleeps till Christmas and I have never been less prepared in all my life.
Well that's a lie, I was doing just fine until the Royal Mail kidnapped Santa and all his post and presents! So now, most members of my family have nothing to open on Christmas day. Fantastic. We also have around a half a wall less of Christmas cards this year so unless we have pissed a lot of people off, they are also somewhere in Cyber space, or whatever the Royal Mail equivalent is. What I don't understand is, presents that were supposed to arrive on the 7th of December (before the snow), have still not arrived. And also, why is it that bills and shampoo samples can make it through in the post but none of the good stuff.
I understand that the snow is making life difficult. I have already lost two shifts at work and I'm waiting to see what the rest of the week brings. I have read several contrasting weather forecasts so who knows. I suppose I will just have to wait and see. As it stands, the snow is above the bottom of my car and I can't even get off the drive let alone all the way to Chester. If anyone has ventured that way and can volunteer information on the state of the roads it would be very much appreciated. Bear in mind the fact that the bottom of my car is only a few inches off the ground.
I was welcomed home on Friday by a 6 foot tall snow woman with double d breasts in our front garden. Proudly built by Mum, Alan and Ian. Overnight the weight of her boobs bought her crashing to the ground. Ian and Mum have since rebuilt her but now she is about 4 foot tall, 6 foot wide and without any breasts. She is however holding a candle which is rather sweet.
Today we have got into the Christmas spirit with National Lampoons Christmas Special, A Christmas Carol (the Patrick Stuart version of course), and a practice roast dinner.
So, I think that's about it for now, I really hope that we all get some post tomorrow although it's unlikely! If I forget to blog before Christmas then Happy Christmas to you all!
Bye for now!
Well that's a lie, I was doing just fine until the Royal Mail kidnapped Santa and all his post and presents! So now, most members of my family have nothing to open on Christmas day. Fantastic. We also have around a half a wall less of Christmas cards this year so unless we have pissed a lot of people off, they are also somewhere in Cyber space, or whatever the Royal Mail equivalent is. What I don't understand is, presents that were supposed to arrive on the 7th of December (before the snow), have still not arrived. And also, why is it that bills and shampoo samples can make it through in the post but none of the good stuff.
I understand that the snow is making life difficult. I have already lost two shifts at work and I'm waiting to see what the rest of the week brings. I have read several contrasting weather forecasts so who knows. I suppose I will just have to wait and see. As it stands, the snow is above the bottom of my car and I can't even get off the drive let alone all the way to Chester. If anyone has ventured that way and can volunteer information on the state of the roads it would be very much appreciated. Bear in mind the fact that the bottom of my car is only a few inches off the ground.
I was welcomed home on Friday by a 6 foot tall snow woman with double d breasts in our front garden. Proudly built by Mum, Alan and Ian. Overnight the weight of her boobs bought her crashing to the ground. Ian and Mum have since rebuilt her but now she is about 4 foot tall, 6 foot wide and without any breasts. She is however holding a candle which is rather sweet.
Today we have got into the Christmas spirit with National Lampoons Christmas Special, A Christmas Carol (the Patrick Stuart version of course), and a practice roast dinner.
So, I think that's about it for now, I really hope that we all get some post tomorrow although it's unlikely! If I forget to blog before Christmas then Happy Christmas to you all!
Bye for now!
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Covers
I'm having a bit of an X Factor fuelled rant that is too long for my Facebook status. In todays blog:
Cheryl Cole
Covers
Christmas number one.
and X Factor fix.
I'll start with my title, covers. People are criticising the fact that Matt is covering a Biffy Clyro song. So flipping what. "You've got the love" was insanely popular but if I'm honest, I actually prefer the original. Ellie Goulding "Your song", yes it's very good and I like it but still, a cover. And let's not even talk about what Black Eyed Peas have done to "Time of my life". Shocking. Almost as bad as what Shane Ward has done to Nickleback's "Gotta be somebody". There seems to be a bit of a "cover craze" going on at the moment. And it's easy enough to say that they can be epic, or a total disaster. Give Matt a break, it is a TV show created for entertainment, he will do what he is told. I do however, agree with the people who are saying that Rebecca is actually better off than Matt as she will probably release an album before him.
Anyway, I'm glad Matt won because it means that Cheryl didn't get her hatrick. I don't see how she can be a judge on the X Factor, and sit there and tell people that they can't sing, when she is a shocking singer. I've got nothing against her personally, I think she has been very dignified in all that she has been through, but she cannot sing and shouldn't be telling other people whether they can or not.
Also, I really do not agree with these "make 'blah blah blah' Christmas number one" campaigns. Don't get sucked in. Buy the single you like, not the one you think is going to sabotage someone elses chances. Will you be listening "Bird is the word" on Christmas morning? If it came on Shuffle on your Ipod would you skip the song? Christmas number one is supposed to be about a special festive song that you enjoy listening to. Not some crazy campaign. I've got nothing against Rage Against the Machine, because that song is good, but if that bloody Family Guy song makes Christmas number one it will make a total joke of it. One minute everyone loves the X Factor and the next people are campaigning against it. I understand that the public are trying to take a stand, gain some control, but it's really pathetic. You'd be better off not buying any song.
Finally, if your favourite act doesn't win, it is most likely not a fix. Well, actually, if you voted, and your act still didn't win, say what you like...or...assume that no matter how many times you voted, more people voted more times for the other act. I think that there have been strange goings on at the X Factor this year (for example it was claimed last week that it would be down to public vote alone and then the judges voted), but I don't believe the winner was fixed. They both deserved to win and for all we know there could have been one vote between them, but with a bit of luck we will hear from both of them again.
Anyway, rant over. Apologies to anyone I may have offended.
Bye for now.
Cheryl Cole
Covers
Christmas number one.
and X Factor fix.
I'll start with my title, covers. People are criticising the fact that Matt is covering a Biffy Clyro song. So flipping what. "You've got the love" was insanely popular but if I'm honest, I actually prefer the original. Ellie Goulding "Your song", yes it's very good and I like it but still, a cover. And let's not even talk about what Black Eyed Peas have done to "Time of my life". Shocking. Almost as bad as what Shane Ward has done to Nickleback's "Gotta be somebody". There seems to be a bit of a "cover craze" going on at the moment. And it's easy enough to say that they can be epic, or a total disaster. Give Matt a break, it is a TV show created for entertainment, he will do what he is told. I do however, agree with the people who are saying that Rebecca is actually better off than Matt as she will probably release an album before him.
Anyway, I'm glad Matt won because it means that Cheryl didn't get her hatrick. I don't see how she can be a judge on the X Factor, and sit there and tell people that they can't sing, when she is a shocking singer. I've got nothing against her personally, I think she has been very dignified in all that she has been through, but she cannot sing and shouldn't be telling other people whether they can or not.
Also, I really do not agree with these "make 'blah blah blah' Christmas number one" campaigns. Don't get sucked in. Buy the single you like, not the one you think is going to sabotage someone elses chances. Will you be listening "Bird is the word" on Christmas morning? If it came on Shuffle on your Ipod would you skip the song? Christmas number one is supposed to be about a special festive song that you enjoy listening to. Not some crazy campaign. I've got nothing against Rage Against the Machine, because that song is good, but if that bloody Family Guy song makes Christmas number one it will make a total joke of it. One minute everyone loves the X Factor and the next people are campaigning against it. I understand that the public are trying to take a stand, gain some control, but it's really pathetic. You'd be better off not buying any song.
Finally, if your favourite act doesn't win, it is most likely not a fix. Well, actually, if you voted, and your act still didn't win, say what you like...or...assume that no matter how many times you voted, more people voted more times for the other act. I think that there have been strange goings on at the X Factor this year (for example it was claimed last week that it would be down to public vote alone and then the judges voted), but I don't believe the winner was fixed. They both deserved to win and for all we know there could have been one vote between them, but with a bit of luck we will hear from both of them again.
Anyway, rant over. Apologies to anyone I may have offended.
Bye for now.
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Countdown to Christmas!
Someone special just reminded me to blog so here it it.
Hope you are all well, and are getting in the Christmas spirit. My Christmas shopping is non-existent and I've not a penny in the bank but nevertheless I'm feeling very Christmassy. I've been on the big wheel and seen Chester looking beautiful. I've enjoyed the snow, and shared a Mulled Wine and an Eggnog Latte with Lauren.
Got a serious work load at Uni but I'm ploughing through it! No deadlines yet but I can feel them looming!
Loving work at River Island, the people there are so much fun and I love being surrounded by all the beautiful clothes, even if I do have to wear a shitty t-shirt to work.
Am still desperately seeking a dress for the Purple New Year Ball. I am reluctant to buy one from Debenhams as the whole world and his dog is likely to turn up in the same one. I went into the shop I got it from last year (http://www.aristocratsofchesterltd.co.uk/) but no luck on the amazing deal I got last year. I have one on order and I'm praying it will be nice but I read after it was ordered that it is made from jersey, so am going to need some full on Brigit Joneses to suck my tummy in after Christmas.
Back to Christmas, to any of you struggling with a few last minute stocking fillers, take a look at this months Avon catalogue. Campaign 1 (click here). I'm ordering before 10pm Wednesday. Please please PLEASE take a look, there's some lovely gift ideas in there and also some treats for yourself.
Bye for now.
Hope you are all well, and are getting in the Christmas spirit. My Christmas shopping is non-existent and I've not a penny in the bank but nevertheless I'm feeling very Christmassy. I've been on the big wheel and seen Chester looking beautiful. I've enjoyed the snow, and shared a Mulled Wine and an Eggnog Latte with Lauren.
Got a serious work load at Uni but I'm ploughing through it! No deadlines yet but I can feel them looming!
Loving work at River Island, the people there are so much fun and I love being surrounded by all the beautiful clothes, even if I do have to wear a shitty t-shirt to work.
Am still desperately seeking a dress for the Purple New Year Ball. I am reluctant to buy one from Debenhams as the whole world and his dog is likely to turn up in the same one. I went into the shop I got it from last year (http://www.aristocratsofchesterltd.co.uk/) but no luck on the amazing deal I got last year. I have one on order and I'm praying it will be nice but I read after it was ordered that it is made from jersey, so am going to need some full on Brigit Joneses to suck my tummy in after Christmas.
Back to Christmas, to any of you struggling with a few last minute stocking fillers, take a look at this months Avon catalogue. Campaign 1 (click here). I'm ordering before 10pm Wednesday. Please please PLEASE take a look, there's some lovely gift ideas in there and also some treats for yourself.
Bye for now.
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Still get sad every once in a while.
Tissues at the ready.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-wU25fUPvQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Bye for now.
Just found this version and I prefer it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QAeN-qPzcU&feature=related
Bye for now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-wU25fUPvQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Bye for now.
Just found this version and I prefer it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QAeN-qPzcU&feature=related
Bye for now.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Apologies.
I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while! I bet you're all thinking that I only blog when I've got something to moan about. But I've been really busy with Uni and my new job which by the way is amazing.
So yesterday, me, Mum and Alan got all Christmassy in Chester. We went on the big wheel which was very scary but amazing also. Then we got a pancake and some mulled wine and sat among some snowy Christmas trees to consume them. The highlight was watching people fall over on the Ice Rink.
Despite being all Christmassy I am completely unprepared for Christmas. I have two small presents! Not good. And I've no idea what my Christmas hours will be like at River Island! I'm already working over my 12 hour contract but I cannot wait to get paid.
I have been working my butt off since 10am this morning and have still got so much more to do. I started my day by interviewing the Student Union president and vice president. Actually that's a lie, I started my day by getting a little bit excited about the snow. And then I nearly crippled myself on the way to campus and quickly changed my mind. You know you're getting old when you dread snow more than you look forward to it. So I finished my interview at 10.15 but couldn't take the photo until after 1, so I have spent some very productive hours in the library!
Oh em gee, Jack McFarland (in Will and Grace) is in Scrubs! So anyhoo, I'm trying to prepare for yet another exhibition on Thursday. Not marked...AGAIN. So am going to print all my work before work tomorrow.
So that's about the size of it. But I've been thinking, why is it that we fall in love so easily, but not out of love so easily.
Bye for now.
So yesterday, me, Mum and Alan got all Christmassy in Chester. We went on the big wheel which was very scary but amazing also. Then we got a pancake and some mulled wine and sat among some snowy Christmas trees to consume them. The highlight was watching people fall over on the Ice Rink.
Despite being all Christmassy I am completely unprepared for Christmas. I have two small presents! Not good. And I've no idea what my Christmas hours will be like at River Island! I'm already working over my 12 hour contract but I cannot wait to get paid.
I have been working my butt off since 10am this morning and have still got so much more to do. I started my day by interviewing the Student Union president and vice president. Actually that's a lie, I started my day by getting a little bit excited about the snow. And then I nearly crippled myself on the way to campus and quickly changed my mind. You know you're getting old when you dread snow more than you look forward to it. So I finished my interview at 10.15 but couldn't take the photo until after 1, so I have spent some very productive hours in the library!
Oh em gee, Jack McFarland (in Will and Grace) is in Scrubs! So anyhoo, I'm trying to prepare for yet another exhibition on Thursday. Not marked...AGAIN. So am going to print all my work before work tomorrow.
So that's about the size of it. But I've been thinking, why is it that we fall in love so easily, but not out of love so easily.
Bye for now.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Romance is dead.
Hey guys, just a quick blog before I dash off to Uni.
Went to see The Dirty D's last night. Still as amazing as ever. If you haven't heard them yet please listen. Romance is Dead is my personal favourite. If I could I would marry Switch's vocals. I'd just marry Meg full stop (I kid, unless she's reading and then I'm not... Hi Meg!) Anyhoo! They are awesome. So please listen.
http://www.myspace.com/thedirtydelinquents
So after the gig we ended up crashing a private party in Bar Six T Nine. It was an education. Thanks for a great night you guys.
Did my first shift at River Island yesterday and I loved it! They put me on footwear, crazy people! Back again on Saturday. Can't wait but I'm sure that will wear of soon enough.
I have to go to Uni now to learn how to take photos. But before I go I've been thinking about a question that has been asked a lot I'm sure. Do you think that there are good people and bad people? Or just good people who do bad things and make bad decisions?
Bye for now
Went to see The Dirty D's last night. Still as amazing as ever. If you haven't heard them yet please listen. Romance is Dead is my personal favourite. If I could I would marry Switch's vocals. I'd just marry Meg full stop (I kid, unless she's reading and then I'm not... Hi Meg!) Anyhoo! They are awesome. So please listen.
http://www.myspace.com/thedirtydelinquents
So after the gig we ended up crashing a private party in Bar Six T Nine. It was an education. Thanks for a great night you guys.
Did my first shift at River Island yesterday and I loved it! They put me on footwear, crazy people! Back again on Saturday. Can't wait but I'm sure that will wear of soon enough.
I have to go to Uni now to learn how to take photos. But before I go I've been thinking about a question that has been asked a lot I'm sure. Do you think that there are good people and bad people? Or just good people who do bad things and make bad decisions?
Bye for now
Monday, 15 November 2010
Long time no speak.
Sorry for lack of blog. I think it's been a whole week! In my defense I did write one the other day but it wouldn't publish and it didn't save so I lost it. Damn.
So, not a lot has happened really. I had a decision to make and I think I've made the right one. Have been to River Island and got my uniform and I'm very excited about starting there soon. I'm pretty much just feeling lonely at the moment. I've got amazing friends who have made me laugh more recently than I have in a long time, and I love them for that. But I still feel lonely. It's so cliché but when I go to bed and when I wake up is the worst. I never imagined having to get into a cold empty bed alone again, I always thought I'd have someone to snuggle up to and to keep my bed warm. Trying to shut my brain off at night is hard. Keeps going round and round wondering if I could of done something to stop it from happening. I wish life was like "Sliding Doors" where you can see what path your life will take depending on what decision you make.
Anyway, I'm motoring along. I'm focusing on Uni, and starting my new job. I know I'm going to be Ok, and at the end of all this I will be a stronger and better person, I just thought that I would start to feel better by now.
I wish I had more to tell you folks but I don't. So.
Bye for now.
So, not a lot has happened really. I had a decision to make and I think I've made the right one. Have been to River Island and got my uniform and I'm very excited about starting there soon. I'm pretty much just feeling lonely at the moment. I've got amazing friends who have made me laugh more recently than I have in a long time, and I love them for that. But I still feel lonely. It's so cliché but when I go to bed and when I wake up is the worst. I never imagined having to get into a cold empty bed alone again, I always thought I'd have someone to snuggle up to and to keep my bed warm. Trying to shut my brain off at night is hard. Keeps going round and round wondering if I could of done something to stop it from happening. I wish life was like "Sliding Doors" where you can see what path your life will take depending on what decision you make.
Anyway, I'm motoring along. I'm focusing on Uni, and starting my new job. I know I'm going to be Ok, and at the end of all this I will be a stronger and better person, I just thought that I would start to feel better by now.
I wish I had more to tell you folks but I don't. So.
Bye for now.
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
Is it cause I'm cool?
No. Why can't I be cool? For example today. I walk from my car to the canteen, then the entire length of the canteen at lunch time to the toilet, where upon I find my flies are undone! So, I thought, oh well how embarrassing, I'll zip them up now. Damage control. However, the flies are in actual fact BROKEN! Queue me walking around all day with my hoodie pulled down over my crotch for the rest of the day! Sometimes I wonder if Brigit Jones was based on my life!
I do believe though that there is something actually wrong with me. My favourite quote is from one of Marian Keyes's books:
"So I'm back again to the eternal question,the one that has plagued me all my life: How Do Other People Do It? How come they were given life's rule book and I missed out? Where was I when God was dispensing capability and cop-on? Looking at shoes probably".
I did however have a lovely conversation with two people at lunch time who have helped me feel a lot better about myself. It's going to be a slow process but I will get there no matter how long it takes. I just need to man up a bit.
I'm off to fulfill my vice president (of Acting Soc) duties now seeing as I have been neglecting them for 2 weeks.
Bye for now.
I do believe though that there is something actually wrong with me. My favourite quote is from one of Marian Keyes's books:
"So I'm back again to the eternal question,the one that has plagued me all my life: How Do Other People Do It? How come they were given life's rule book and I missed out? Where was I when God was dispensing capability and cop-on? Looking at shoes probably".
I did however have a lovely conversation with two people at lunch time who have helped me feel a lot better about myself. It's going to be a slow process but I will get there no matter how long it takes. I just need to man up a bit.
I'm off to fulfill my vice president (of Acting Soc) duties now seeing as I have been neglecting them for 2 weeks.
Bye for now.
Monday, 8 November 2010
If you ever come back...
No time to blog so this is for you.
Bye for now.
If your standing with your suitcase
But you cant step on the train
Everythings the way that you left it i still havent slept yet
And if your covering your face now
But you just cant hide the pain
Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without yah
If the truth is your a liar
Then just say that your okay
Im sleepin on your side of the bed goin out of my head now
And if your out there tryina move on
But somethin pulls you back again
Im sitting here tryina persuade you like your in the same room
And i wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And i wish you could still give me a hard time
And i wish i could still wish it was over
but even if wishing is a waste of time
even if i never cross your mind
Ill leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back if you ever come back
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back
Theyll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
if you ever come back if you ever come back now
Oh if you ever come back if you ever come back
Now they say im wasting my time
Cuz your never commin home
But they used to say the world was flat but how wrong was tht now
And by leavin my door open
Im milkin everythin i own
Somethin i can lose in the breakin that you havent taken
And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And I wish you can still give me a hard time
And I wish I could still wish it was over
But even if wishing is a waste of time
Even if I never cross your mind
Ill leave the door on the latch
If youu ever come back if you ever come back
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back
Theyll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back if you ever come back now
Oh if you ever come back if you ever come back
If its the fighting you remember or the little things you miss
I know your out there somewhere so just remember this
If its the fighting you remember or the little things you miss
Oh just remember this oh just remmeber this
Ill leave the door on the latch
If youu ever come back if you ever come back
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back
Theyll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
Theyll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back if you ever come back now
Oh if you ever come back if you ever come back
And it will be just like you were never gone
And it will be just like you were never gone
And it will be just like you were never gone
If you ever come back if you ever come back now
Sunday, 7 November 2010
"How are you feeling?"
Sorry folks but I'm not holding back this time! I have just received a text message from him. "How are you feeling?" How do you think I'm feeling? Oh actually, come to think of it, I've made a miraculous recovery. Yeah, I haven't even thought about how you broke my heart by leaving me for someone who turns out to be a total cow and are now contacting your slutty ex-girlfriends. Hasn't even crossed my mind. Just like it hasn't crossed my mind that apparently I made you unhappy when all I tried to do was the exact opposite! So does that give you some idea of how I'm feeling? I couldn't even reply due to the fact that is the single most stupid question I have ever been asked. It's a bit late to start caring about how I am now! Sorry about the rant readers but there is actual steam coming out of my ears! I was doing really well today until I received that message. I was actually able to block the whole thing out of my mind until then! But at least I'm angry and not sobbing into my pillow. Progress.
Also, I can't return to Chester tonight as my little pink car is poorly. Bless. Alan is coming to fix it for me later and I shall be on my way tomorrow.
Off to a birthday party tomorrow night. Can't wait. Happy Birthday Alex! I may bring some party hats to our Critical Essay lesson.
Well all I'm off to get clean as I've spent the afternoon cleaning two filthy ponies!
Once again sorry about the rant.
Bye for now.
Also, I can't return to Chester tonight as my little pink car is poorly. Bless. Alan is coming to fix it for me later and I shall be on my way tomorrow.
Off to a birthday party tomorrow night. Can't wait. Happy Birthday Alex! I may bring some party hats to our Critical Essay lesson.
Well all I'm off to get clean as I've spent the afternoon cleaning two filthy ponies!
Once again sorry about the rant.
Bye for now.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Dreams can come true...
So why is it when I have crappy dreams where he leaves me for someone else, they flippin' come true. But when I dream that R-Patz is my boyfriend...oh no! That'll teach me to read Twilight (for the third time) before I go to bed. Not that I mind...really...it's just making the standards for my next boyfriend impossibly high which is probably not a bad thing.
I had a little prod around my feelings this morning, and felt OK. But as long as I'm always doing something. I just watched "The Ugly Truth" which I loved! And I'm now watching Scrubs which always cheers me up. I'm still in my pyjamas but hey, it's Saturday. I cannot believe I have to go back to Uni tomorrow but am actually a little excited because I hardly got to spend any time with my new housies before it was time for a week off. Also the Christmas lights go on this week so I can really get excited. To all my friends, expect your Christmas presents in January as my job doesn't start until the 21st of December and am therefore skint until my next pay cheque.
Decided not to go to any firework displays last night as the weather was so shocking, so we went up to the stables for some food and drink last night which was really fun. I'm expecting a few sore heads on the yard when I go to do the horses later. I'm also recording a Christmas film which I love called "A Christmas Wedding". It's got the blonde girl from "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" in it and also Daniel from "Ugly Betty". Anyway, once I've done the horses I'm going to curl up (probably back in my PJ's) which some hot chocolate and watch that film
Now peeps, you've heard me whinge on now for nearly a month, so what about you? What is happening in your lives, good or bad? I'll even blog it for you if you so wish! Let me know!
Bye for now.
I had a little prod around my feelings this morning, and felt OK. But as long as I'm always doing something. I just watched "The Ugly Truth" which I loved! And I'm now watching Scrubs which always cheers me up. I'm still in my pyjamas but hey, it's Saturday. I cannot believe I have to go back to Uni tomorrow but am actually a little excited because I hardly got to spend any time with my new housies before it was time for a week off. Also the Christmas lights go on this week so I can really get excited. To all my friends, expect your Christmas presents in January as my job doesn't start until the 21st of December and am therefore skint until my next pay cheque.
Decided not to go to any firework displays last night as the weather was so shocking, so we went up to the stables for some food and drink last night which was really fun. I'm expecting a few sore heads on the yard when I go to do the horses later. I'm also recording a Christmas film which I love called "A Christmas Wedding". It's got the blonde girl from "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" in it and also Daniel from "Ugly Betty". Anyway, once I've done the horses I'm going to curl up (probably back in my PJ's) which some hot chocolate and watch that film
Now peeps, you've heard me whinge on now for nearly a month, so what about you? What is happening in your lives, good or bad? I'll even blog it for you if you so wish! Let me know!
Bye for now.
Friday, 5 November 2010
Bring back the sun.
Well, he finally admitted he left me for her. They're not together. Apparently she doesn't want to be with him. This hurts so much because I want him. Just the way he was. Now no-one has him and he doesn't want me. At least I know I wasn't being mad and paranoid. But I actually feel worse than I ever have. I love him so much, to think that I wasn't enough for him, and that I made him unhappy is unbearable. Please let me crawl into my bed and stay there forever. Everything thrown away for nothing. The stupidest thing? I still want to be with him! I still love him! I know that will fade in time but at the moment it's so raw you won't believe that I'm in actual, physical pain. I could cry and cry and never stop. I never even got a chance to make him happy again, he never told me. I don't understand at all. How can you just stop loving someone? This has been my most painful blog yet, and to my friends who have texted and I haven't replied, I'm sorry, but this is my explanation.
I'm not OK. I don't feel like I ever will be. I miss him. So much it hurts.
I'm not OK. I don't feel like I ever will be. I miss him. So much it hurts.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Time for a quickie...
Oh mes amis, what a night. Revelatations galore. Finally the truth. And emotionally i'm back to where I was last week. I want my old life back folks. :(
Bye for now.
Bye for now.
"All time low"...
... only joking folks. That was the other day when I ate an entire box of Cadbury's chocolate fingers. I'm actually feeling OK. I mean, obviously I've felt better but still. I'm better than I thought I would be at this stage.
I'm still buzzing about my job. Very exciting stuff.
So what has everyone got planned for Bonfire Night? Weather permitting I think I am going to the Tywyn bonfire. But not before we sedate all the cats. Eek, poor little buggers!
So folks, I'm just running a bath, and am intending to read my final few pages of "If you could see me now". I've been through 4 chick lit books in a month so if anyone has any more suggestions please let me know. Nothing by Marian Keyes though as I have already read all of her books, some of them twice. Am waiting patiently for the lovely lady to recover from a very serious case of depression so she can write another book.
Mmmmm I can smell my Radox calling so I shall have to love you and leave you soon. Again there's so much I wanted to say but now my brain fails me! If you think of anything, don't hesitate to ask.
I know, I'll leave you with a song. No hidden (or not so hidden) message I'm afraid I just love this song.
Bye for now.
I'm still buzzing about my job. Very exciting stuff.
So what has everyone got planned for Bonfire Night? Weather permitting I think I am going to the Tywyn bonfire. But not before we sedate all the cats. Eek, poor little buggers!
So folks, I'm just running a bath, and am intending to read my final few pages of "If you could see me now". I've been through 4 chick lit books in a month so if anyone has any more suggestions please let me know. Nothing by Marian Keyes though as I have already read all of her books, some of them twice. Am waiting patiently for the lovely lady to recover from a very serious case of depression so she can write another book.
Mmmmm I can smell my Radox calling so I shall have to love you and leave you soon. Again there's so much I wanted to say but now my brain fails me! If you think of anything, don't hesitate to ask.
I know, I'll leave you with a song. No hidden (or not so hidden) message I'm afraid I just love this song.
Bye for now.
Little white house
It's everything we dream about
We wanted you to know
I'm hanging up my e-go...
We shouldn't have to fight
Or worry about the bills tonight
I wanted you to know
I wanna be your shadow
Mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Oh bury this hate
Build it with love
The mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Oh bury this hate
Build it with love, ho oh
Little batter high
Grass wasn't greener I found
Wanted you to know
Well I dug you up a rainbow
Mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Oh bury this hate
Build it with love
The mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Oh bury this hate
Build it with love
And I know
I know I failed you
And I hope
I hope we get through
Show me your hand again
And I know
I know I failed you
And I hope
I hope we get through
Soul signed hand
Mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Bury this hate
Build it with love
The mystery's gone
So bring back the sun
Oh bury this hate
And build it with love
The mystery is gone
The mystery is gone
The mystery's gone
The mystery is gone
The mystery's gone
Bring back the sun
Bury this hate
Build it with love
Little white house
Good afternoon..
Sorry for the lack of blog yesterday but I blogged twice the day before so I thought you'd be sick of me.
Anyway, this is how it is. Getting back together is not on the cards, I know that. But it seems that now I have to make a choice whether to keep him in my life as a friend. Or let him go completely. I think for my own mental health, it has to be a clean break...
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I GOT THE RIVER ISLAND JOB! AAAAAAAAAH!
So, like I was saying. My heart wants to keep him in my life. But my head is begging for a break.
Thanks to my two lovely L's, I had a great time last night in Chester, and am well and truly hooked on The Mighty Boosh. I also learnt that the Christmas lights in Chester are turned on on the 11th of November, so dates (male or female) for this event are most welcomed!
I had a whole long blog planned out but thanks to the phone call from River Island (lovely people) I've lost my train of thought so I'll come back to you later when I remember the rest.
Bye for now.
Anyway, this is how it is. Getting back together is not on the cards, I know that. But it seems that now I have to make a choice whether to keep him in my life as a friend. Or let him go completely. I think for my own mental health, it has to be a clean break...
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I GOT THE RIVER ISLAND JOB! AAAAAAAAAH!
So, like I was saying. My heart wants to keep him in my life. But my head is begging for a break.
Thanks to my two lovely L's, I had a great time last night in Chester, and am well and truly hooked on The Mighty Boosh. I also learnt that the Christmas lights in Chester are turned on on the 11th of November, so dates (male or female) for this event are most welcomed!
I had a whole long blog planned out but thanks to the phone call from River Island (lovely people) I've lost my train of thought so I'll come back to you later when I remember the rest.
Bye for now.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Well well well...
...it appears my friendly blogger has blocked his page. Apologies folks you won't be able to read his inspiring words. Shame.
First of all I'm saying "Hello" to Kerry who told me she reads all my blogs. So thank you Kerry. And everyone else who got me up to over 1600 page views since I started blogging. Kerry said it's probably all her. :)
Today has taken a turn for the worst I'm afraid my lovely supporters. I miss him more than you can understand and I don't know what has brought it on. This morning I was fine, and all of a sudden it was like a big black crowd descended over my mood. Trying to find a film to watch but I can only find ones about wedding and romance. Violent movie anyone? The safest thing I can find to watch is "Come dine with me" which I love but it is doing little to lift my mood.
I want to say though, despite my low mood, it would be a lot lower without all of you lot! I can't believe you are actually reading this and I love you for it!
Bye for now.
First of all I'm saying "Hello" to Kerry who told me she reads all my blogs. So thank you Kerry. And everyone else who got me up to over 1600 page views since I started blogging. Kerry said it's probably all her. :)
Today has taken a turn for the worst I'm afraid my lovely supporters. I miss him more than you can understand and I don't know what has brought it on. This morning I was fine, and all of a sudden it was like a big black crowd descended over my mood. Trying to find a film to watch but I can only find ones about wedding and romance. Violent movie anyone? The safest thing I can find to watch is "Come dine with me" which I love but it is doing little to lift my mood.
I want to say though, despite my low mood, it would be a lot lower without all of you lot! I can't believe you are actually reading this and I love you for it!
Bye for now.
Getting out on the wrong side of the bed.
Well, this morning I woke up to the most unpleasant message left on my blog. I have no idea who this person is but they made disgusting assumptions about my relationship and sex life. If you wish to read more from this talented writer please visit http://seepingbrainhole.blogspot.com/ as this person is obviously seeking attention. The blog is appropriately names "The Excrement Seeping from my Brainhole". Indeed. I would have left it for you all to read but the language was disgusting and I did not want it associated with my blog. In future, dear blogger, keep your opinion to yourself, all you know about me is what I have to say on here and you have no right to judge me or make assumptions.
Anyway people I'm feeling good today. Well, I was feeling a lot better until I read my lovely comment but there we are. No big plans for today. Will tend to my lovely ponies shortly and cook some dinner for me and my brother and that is about the extent of my day. It's getting dark so early people! In a way I love it, it reminds me that Christmas is around the corner, and makes me want to get all cosy in my PJ's and dressing gown. On the other hand it's harder to get up in the morning when it is dark!
Looking forward to tomorrow. Back to Chester to see a friend. Exciting stuff. Not sure I've quite recovered enough from Saturday to drink again yet but we shall see.
Hope this blog is a little more upbeat for you all my lovely readers. I may blog again later if anything exciting happens. Or even if it doesn't!
Bye for now!
Anyway people I'm feeling good today. Well, I was feeling a lot better until I read my lovely comment but there we are. No big plans for today. Will tend to my lovely ponies shortly and cook some dinner for me and my brother and that is about the extent of my day. It's getting dark so early people! In a way I love it, it reminds me that Christmas is around the corner, and makes me want to get all cosy in my PJ's and dressing gown. On the other hand it's harder to get up in the morning when it is dark!
Looking forward to tomorrow. Back to Chester to see a friend. Exciting stuff. Not sure I've quite recovered enough from Saturday to drink again yet but we shall see.
Hope this blog is a little more upbeat for you all my lovely readers. I may blog again later if anything exciting happens. Or even if it doesn't!
Bye for now!
Monday, 1 November 2010
53 sleeps, 7 hours, 59 minutes & 17 seconds
... until christmas day :-)
Llbs lost: 3.
I'm feeling very strange today. Like, I feel better but worse. I don't feel like I want to cry or hit something anymore, I don't feel angry. But I do miss him. Last night he was so lovely it reminded me why I love him. But in a strange way I'm starting to accept what has happened. Instead of trying to blame somebody for it I'm trying to find ways of dealing with it, and not looking to the future thinking there's someone out there for me because that's not what's important now. I'm just trying to take it day by day.
On a very sad note, one of my favourite horses on the yard (apart from my own) passed away on Saturday. Very sad and she will be missed.
Now Halloween is well and truly over, I feel that I can properly get excited for Christmas without feeling ashamed. The Christmas lights were already up when I visited Broughton yesterday. And Debenhams had some decorations up a few days ago. I went on my favourite Christmas website this morning and yes I do realise that that makes me a massive child! Claus.com On Christmas Eve you can put in your postcode and it will tell you what time Santa is arriving at your house! Brilliant tactic to get kids to go to bed. Unless they decide to stay up and wait for him!
I'm out of words for now folks so I shall leave you with a song.
Bye for now.
Llbs lost: 3.
I'm feeling very strange today. Like, I feel better but worse. I don't feel like I want to cry or hit something anymore, I don't feel angry. But I do miss him. Last night he was so lovely it reminded me why I love him. But in a strange way I'm starting to accept what has happened. Instead of trying to blame somebody for it I'm trying to find ways of dealing with it, and not looking to the future thinking there's someone out there for me because that's not what's important now. I'm just trying to take it day by day.
On a very sad note, one of my favourite horses on the yard (apart from my own) passed away on Saturday. Very sad and she will be missed.
Now Halloween is well and truly over, I feel that I can properly get excited for Christmas without feeling ashamed. The Christmas lights were already up when I visited Broughton yesterday. And Debenhams had some decorations up a few days ago. I went on my favourite Christmas website this morning and yes I do realise that that makes me a massive child! Claus.com On Christmas Eve you can put in your postcode and it will tell you what time Santa is arriving at your house! Brilliant tactic to get kids to go to bed. Unless they decide to stay up and wait for him!
I'm out of words for now folks so I shall leave you with a song.
Bye for now.
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Hmmmm...
It appears folks, that I have been fooled by an elaborate wind up. There is no one else, it was just a joke. Hmmmmm.
I have also discovered that he is an avid reader of my blog. So big shout out to him.
Yes, against my better judgement, I met up with him tonight. I don't know why. And I don't know that he did either. Maybe to see if I'm OK and ease his guilt. I don't know. He's made me believe again that there is no one else and that he just wants to be alone. But in a way that is harder to accept because then I start to think: "Oh well then, it's just that he doesn't love me anymore". At least if it was someone else I can blame then and not be thinking what did I do?
Anyway, enough about that. I had my job interview this evening. It was scary as hell. We were put in groups and had to do a little presentation. Then we had an individual interview. With some horrible on the spot questions like "Name a time when you went out of your way to help someone". And it's not that I haven't, it's just that in that split second I couldn't think of anything! I eventually came up with "Sometimes I dressed up as the Honey bear". I mean...wtf! So, I won't be expecting to get that job then. The fun bit at the end though was getting a free reign of the shop to create an outfit for "A girls night out". That was fun. Building a dream outfit!
So readers, this evening I am most confused. My feelings are all over the place as to what I want to believe and what is true and what I'm assuming. Not that it changes anything, he still doesn't want to be with me. But tonight he felt like the guy I loved. Very sad.
Bummed you out again there didn't I?
Bye for now.
I have also discovered that he is an avid reader of my blog. So big shout out to him.
Yes, against my better judgement, I met up with him tonight. I don't know why. And I don't know that he did either. Maybe to see if I'm OK and ease his guilt. I don't know. He's made me believe again that there is no one else and that he just wants to be alone. But in a way that is harder to accept because then I start to think: "Oh well then, it's just that he doesn't love me anymore". At least if it was someone else I can blame then and not be thinking what did I do?
Anyway, enough about that. I had my job interview this evening. It was scary as hell. We were put in groups and had to do a little presentation. Then we had an individual interview. With some horrible on the spot questions like "Name a time when you went out of your way to help someone". And it's not that I haven't, it's just that in that split second I couldn't think of anything! I eventually came up with "Sometimes I dressed up as the Honey bear". I mean...wtf! So, I won't be expecting to get that job then. The fun bit at the end though was getting a free reign of the shop to create an outfit for "A girls night out". That was fun. Building a dream outfit!
So readers, this evening I am most confused. My feelings are all over the place as to what I want to believe and what is true and what I'm assuming. Not that it changes anything, he still doesn't want to be with me. But tonight he felt like the guy I loved. Very sad.
Bummed you out again there didn't I?
Bye for now.
Saturday, 30 October 2010
If I were a boy...
I'm sorry mes amis, I've tried to be dignified but I'm about to blow it all out the window! How can he sit there and tell me there's no one else and then post on his Facebook "he wishes she was here"!!! I am more than sure that he is not referring to me! Just how stupid does he think I am? Oh yes 2 weeks is the perfect amount of time to get over someone you were engaged to! Or make that minus 2 weeks cause he was already meeting her while we were still together!!!
I have so much hate for this girl, that could take him away from me knowing that we were engaged. What kind of girl does that? And how can they both live with themselves knowing what they have done! If I thought I caused another girl to retire to her room and cry until her face is puffy and there is no trace of mascara left, I would not be able to live with myself.
I keep thinking "Don't let it bother you, you don't even want him". True but I feel like I'm underwater and I can't get to the surface. Just as I get there the current drags be back down and I'm crushed by the weight of everything I've lost. The most painful thing to deal with is his cruelty. He was supposed to love me, he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with me. How can he just turn that off and turn into a monster who hates me? I know you can't answer these questions folks but I just thought I'd put them out there.
I'm going to leave you with a song that brightened my day a little.
Bye for now.
I have so much hate for this girl, that could take him away from me knowing that we were engaged. What kind of girl does that? And how can they both live with themselves knowing what they have done! If I thought I caused another girl to retire to her room and cry until her face is puffy and there is no trace of mascara left, I would not be able to live with myself.
I keep thinking "Don't let it bother you, you don't even want him". True but I feel like I'm underwater and I can't get to the surface. Just as I get there the current drags be back down and I'm crushed by the weight of everything I've lost. The most painful thing to deal with is his cruelty. He was supposed to love me, he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with me. How can he just turn that off and turn into a monster who hates me? I know you can't answer these questions folks but I just thought I'd put them out there.
I'm going to leave you with a song that brightened my day a little.
Bye for now.
If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
Because they'd stick up for me
If I were a boy, I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her, because I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Because he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first, and make the rules as I go
Because I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home
If I were a boy, I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her, because I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Because he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake, think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong
But you're just a boy . . . you don't understand
(And you don't understand, oh)
How it feels to love a girl
Some day, you'll wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her, you don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything that you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
Friday, 29 October 2010
Where's my Big?
Sorry to bum you all out folks but I'm having a tough day. I'm dissappointed in myself because I've been doing so well. I had a great time at the Halloween party, it was really good fun and it felt good to be out. It also felt really good to be back at uni today. We were writing reviews today which I felt was really my forte because it's based on opinion (which I have a lot of) and it's also very descriptive, which is very me.
I knew something was very wrong today though when I had to go shopping in River Island for my interview outfit. I felt like I'd totally lost my "mojo". I didn't like anything or have any desire to try anything on. I went to the changing room 3 times with pretty much the same outfits each time. The sales assistants must have thought I was mad!
While I'm on it, I noticed on one of my many trips to the changing rooms, in their oh-so-flattering lights and mirrors, that my tattoo has gone very strange and that the ink is in actual fact, leaking out of it! I kid you not. So, any ideas for cover ups would be most appreciated.
So tonight I have watched: House Bunny, Sex and the City movie and am currently watching Brigit Jones diary. Emma and me used to joke that one day I will find my Big, but he will look like Aidan and have elements of Steve and Harry. I hope she's right.
So I'm off to watch Brigit Jones, because she reminds me of myself. Although I don't get to snog Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. Damnit!
Thanks again to all who have sent me kind messages. They really do make a difference. And thank you all for putting up with me. I'm hoping I'll be on the mend soon :)
Bye for now.
P.s. Wouldn't it be nice if all men reacted to big knickers the same way as Daniel Cleaver!
I knew something was very wrong today though when I had to go shopping in River Island for my interview outfit. I felt like I'd totally lost my "mojo". I didn't like anything or have any desire to try anything on. I went to the changing room 3 times with pretty much the same outfits each time. The sales assistants must have thought I was mad!
While I'm on it, I noticed on one of my many trips to the changing rooms, in their oh-so-flattering lights and mirrors, that my tattoo has gone very strange and that the ink is in actual fact, leaking out of it! I kid you not. So, any ideas for cover ups would be most appreciated.
So tonight I have watched: House Bunny, Sex and the City movie and am currently watching Brigit Jones diary. Emma and me used to joke that one day I will find my Big, but he will look like Aidan and have elements of Steve and Harry. I hope she's right.
So I'm off to watch Brigit Jones, because she reminds me of myself. Although I don't get to snog Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. Damnit!
Thanks again to all who have sent me kind messages. They really do make a difference. And thank you all for putting up with me. I'm hoping I'll be on the mend soon :)
Bye for now.
P.s. Wouldn't it be nice if all men reacted to big knickers the same way as Daniel Cleaver!
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Sod's law.
Well folks would you believe I got an email today inviting me for an interview at River Island Broughton! Bloody typical now I've moved back to Chester. Anyway, I've booked my interview for Sunday because it can't hurt to try.
I'm just enjoying a glass of wine, waiting for the bathroom to be free so I can start getting ready for the Halloween party. I'm quite excited, but also a bit nervous and I'm not sure why. I'm going as a cat. Again.
First day back at uni today. It was strange but luckily I haven't missed much and I have half term to catch up. Tutors were really supportive and understanding which was a great help.
Well it's just a shorty tonight folks because I can't think of much else to say. I hope that's a good thing.
Bye for now.
I'm just enjoying a glass of wine, waiting for the bathroom to be free so I can start getting ready for the Halloween party. I'm quite excited, but also a bit nervous and I'm not sure why. I'm going as a cat. Again.
First day back at uni today. It was strange but luckily I haven't missed much and I have half term to catch up. Tutors were really supportive and understanding which was a great help.
Well it's just a shorty tonight folks because I can't think of much else to say. I hope that's a good thing.
Bye for now.
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
You're getting away with it...
I was going to Blog but I had my Ipod on shuffle earlier and this song came on and I think it says enough.
Bye for now.
Bye for now.
Will Young - Grace (click me)
Feeling so strange I'm seeing you clearly now
Your beauty's deadlier everyday
All these people am I the only one
Who found you out
Is no one willing to say, willing to say, willing to say
Why don't you slow down
Turn your head round
Been treading on hearts
That are giving in with a little
Grace - you're getting away with it
Words - but nothing to say with it
You smile and take what you need in any way that you please
Isn't it a shame
You've
Nothing to show from these
Lies - I told you you'd pay for it
Lonely are the days of your life
You spoke in rhymes and rhythms
The sweetest sounds
They drew me in like a moth to a flame
Oh, all these people you hurt along the way
Will haunt you now
'Cos things are going to change, going to change, going to change
Why don't you slow down
Turn your head round
Been treading on hearts
That are giving in with a little
Grace - you're getting away with it
Words - but nothing to say with it
You smile and take what you need in any way that you please
Isn't it a shame
You've
Nothing to show from these
Lies - I told you you'd pay for it
Lonely are the days of your life
You're beginning to lose
Things are fading in front of your eyes
You've a long way to fall
Before you even realize
That this loneliness hurts
Lonely will be the days of your life
Oh
Grace - you're getting away with it
Words and nothing to say with it
You blame but you're not ashamed of it
Hurt - you don't feel the pain of it
Lie - straight in the face of it
Your mind - you should be afraid of it
Your grace - you're getting away with it
Nothing to get in my way
With a little grace - you're getting away with it
Words and nothing to say with it
Lonely are the days of your life
Lonely are the days
You lie - straight in the face of it
Your mind, your mind - you should be afraid
You're heading for trouble
Morning
I've just woken up in my new room and I feel like shit. I'm cold and my new fan heater sets the flippin' fire alarms off. He was still my first thought this morning. That he's probably somewhere snuggled up nice and warm with someone. And I have more nightmares last night/this morning.
I've got a day off today and I'm supposed to sort my room out but I want to rollover and go back to sleep. I want a bath but despite spending some time with the girls last night ( and they are lovely) I still feel like I'm in a strangers house.
My plans for this weekend have fell through so it looks like I am destined to go home and and answer the door to trick or treaters. Although there is more chance of me sitting in the living room with the lights off eating all the sweets that were meant for the kids. Maybe I should go trick or treating, I am a very scary sight at the moment.
Bye for now mes Amis!
I've got a day off today and I'm supposed to sort my room out but I want to rollover and go back to sleep. I want a bath but despite spending some time with the girls last night ( and they are lovely) I still feel like I'm in a strangers house.
My plans for this weekend have fell through so it looks like I am destined to go home and and answer the door to trick or treaters. Although there is more chance of me sitting in the living room with the lights off eating all the sweets that were meant for the kids. Maybe I should go trick or treating, I am a very scary sight at the moment.
Bye for now mes Amis!
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Fresh start
Hello folks. Well am all moved out. Just got to arrange my things in my new room. This morning I had a whole flat, now I have a room.
And as if things couldn't get any worse, he has already moved on, spending each night with someone else. There are no words to describe how this makes me feel. All day his cruel words from yesterday have been echoing around my head. And the worst thing of all is that I know I'm being lied to and there is nothing I can do about it. I also don't understand the need for such unkind words. I'm already hurting so much there's no room for any more pain.
I want to sort out my room, turn it into somewhere I want to spend time. But I can't. I want my flat and my old life back. I don't understand what happened to my life so suddenly. I want to hate but I can't. I've also been told that hate is a waste of energy. What I feel mostly is jealousy and humiliation.
I think I've bummed you all out enough. Bye for now.
And as if things couldn't get any worse, he has already moved on, spending each night with someone else. There are no words to describe how this makes me feel. All day his cruel words from yesterday have been echoing around my head. And the worst thing of all is that I know I'm being lied to and there is nothing I can do about it. I also don't understand the need for such unkind words. I'm already hurting so much there's no room for any more pain.
I want to sort out my room, turn it into somewhere I want to spend time. But I can't. I want my flat and my old life back. I don't understand what happened to my life so suddenly. I want to hate but I can't. I've also been told that hate is a waste of energy. What I feel mostly is jealousy and humiliation.
I think I've bummed you all out enough. Bye for now.
Monday, 25 October 2010
Bloggin like a B.....
Slices of chocolate cake: 2.
Bad news via text: More than enough.
Support from friends: Through the roof.
Sorry for blogging again folks but it seems like my comfort blanket. It seems that my worst thoughts have been confirmed. Well, at least I know I'm not going crazy but that has done little to comfort me. I feared it was coming but nothing could have prepared me for it when it actually arrived. I feel like I've been punched in the tummy.
I crawled back in my Dora the Explorer bedsheets for an hour or two. But having read all the comments from my lovely friends on Facebook and receiving texts from some very lovely people, I realised there is no point in hiding away.
For the past few months I've hated Facebook, thinking that it was never used for anything good. But since rejoining a few days ago I've had the most amazing support from everyone. I really really appreciate it everyone! Thank you so much!
Bad news via text: More than enough.
Support from friends: Through the roof.
Sorry for blogging again folks but it seems like my comfort blanket. It seems that my worst thoughts have been confirmed. Well, at least I know I'm not going crazy but that has done little to comfort me. I feared it was coming but nothing could have prepared me for it when it actually arrived. I feel like I've been punched in the tummy.
I crawled back in my Dora the Explorer bedsheets for an hour or two. But having read all the comments from my lovely friends on Facebook and receiving texts from some very lovely people, I realised there is no point in hiding away.
For the past few months I've hated Facebook, thinking that it was never used for anything good. But since rejoining a few days ago I've had the most amazing support from everyone. I really really appreciate it everyone! Thank you so much!
“If you are single there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night... your friends.” Carrie Bradshaw
Christ Eamonn and Ruth are annoying...
Hours of daytime TV watched: 100!
Trips planned: 1.
Days till I move out: 1.
Is it half term? It flippin' must be because Eamonn and Ruth are on This Morning and they are annoying as the Nokia ringtone! They're always bickering!
How am I feeling this morning? I'm not really sure myself. Every morning I wake up and poke around my feelings to see where it hurts. I've got mixed feelings about tomorrow. I am looking forward to the relief after I have moved out, but it is going to be very hard to say goodbye to my beautiful flat knowing I will never see it again. Thinking about all the plans and the future we should of had in the flat. Our first home.
My new room is lovely, and that's what I need to focus on! I was a very spoilt student to be living in a new two bedroom flat with an en suite. I should be slumming it with the students. I'm looking forward to making my new room my own. Lauren says get some Yankee candles burning and I'll be fine. She's right. I'm a sucker for Yankee candles. I'm thinking of everything in Black and white for my new room. Classy.
I have a trip to London planned at the weekend. All being well. So many friends have come through for me I'm totally overwhelmed. I retract what I said about everyone saying "I told you so". Everyone has been amazing and I want to thank you all so much for that!
Bye for now.
Trips planned: 1.
Days till I move out: 1.
Is it half term? It flippin' must be because Eamonn and Ruth are on This Morning and they are annoying as the Nokia ringtone! They're always bickering!
How am I feeling this morning? I'm not really sure myself. Every morning I wake up and poke around my feelings to see where it hurts. I've got mixed feelings about tomorrow. I am looking forward to the relief after I have moved out, but it is going to be very hard to say goodbye to my beautiful flat knowing I will never see it again. Thinking about all the plans and the future we should of had in the flat. Our first home.
My new room is lovely, and that's what I need to focus on! I was a very spoilt student to be living in a new two bedroom flat with an en suite. I should be slumming it with the students. I'm looking forward to making my new room my own. Lauren says get some Yankee candles burning and I'll be fine. She's right. I'm a sucker for Yankee candles. I'm thinking of everything in Black and white for my new room. Classy.
I have a trip to London planned at the weekend. All being well. So many friends have come through for me I'm totally overwhelmed. I retract what I said about everyone saying "I told you so". Everyone has been amazing and I want to thank you all so much for that!
Bye for now.
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Day 2 in the Big Blogger House.
Sleeping tablets taken: 1
Hello Laura!!
Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Tywyn! The Net sure is wonderful because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. I can get those wonderful Christmas emails any time of the year now, but it's always special when I get one from you, Laura.
Well bless my whiskers, Laura, you're getting to be quite a big girl! Wow, 21 years old already! Pretty soon you'll be too big to sit on Santa's knee! Well, even though you're getting a little older Laura, Santa's glad to see you still have the Christmas Spirit. I also hear you've been a really good girl. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! Ho!! ho!!).
Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. snow; 2. new riding boots and; 3. a set of ghd's. The elves really like making those presents so I know they'll be happy to hear that's what you want. Of course, there are a lot of good boys and girls in the world and only so many presents so I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you asked for this Christmas.
Before I forget Laura, the elves really want you to visit my new blog! It is called Santa Claus' Christmas Blog. My blog is all about Christmas, life at the North Pole, and me, Santa Claus ! You can even write messages to me and see what others have written. I can hardly wait to see what you write!
HO!! Ho!! ho!! Rudolph wants to take me for another test ride in the sleigh so I better get going! The new sleigh is 'Internet-equipped' so I can even get your emails Christmas Eve when I fly around the world! Take care Laura and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 62 more sleeps until Christmas!!
All My Love,
Father Christmas
Mood at the end of this blog: Greatly Improved. Thanks folks.
Cups of tea this morning: 2 (many more to come).
Times spent trying to make myself feel better: 30 mins (more to come).
Nightmares: 3 :(
Mood: Unbelievably low.
Despite the sleeping tablets, the nightmares are back. Worse than ever. They are so real I could swear they are actually happening. The first nightmare was along the same lines as the old ones. But the second was different. Since the break up, I have decided I would like to keep saving and one day go on holiday to New York. But in my nightmare, I went on my own and it was awful. It was like something out of a Saw film. The worst thing was most of the nightmares occured in the early hours of this morning, and I was awake enough to know that they were awful and I wanted out, but not awake enough to do anything about it.
So I decided to spend a while pampering myself to try and boost my mood this morning. For the first time in weeks I have done my make up properly. I'm sure my horses will appreciate the effort. I have also doused myself in Body Shop's Neroli Jasmine body lotion and I smell like an angel... I'm guessing that two minutes at the stables will put an end to that.
Mum is cooking a roast today. It smells amazing and I can't wait to eat it. This is promising as the only thing I want to eat at the moment is chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate. Last night I was so desperate Mum donated the Trick or Treaters chocolate! It was that really cheap powdery chocolate but I love it because it reminds me of Christmas (even though they were chocolate ghosts, and chocolate pumpkins).
61 days till Christmas by the way! Just found this cute countdown http://www.christmassantaclaus.com/clock.asp. And yes I did just send Santa a letter...Santa is currently writing back...most unusual.
Here was my letter to Santa:
Dear Father Christmas,
My name is Laura. I am a girl and I am already 21 years old!! I live in the great city of Tywyn. Of course, that's in Gwynedd, United Kingdom, but I'll bet you knew that!! This year I've been so good that my halo is just a teensy weensy bit crooked!
Father Christmas, some things I might like for Christmas this year are:
- Snow;
- New Riding Boots; and,
- A set of GHD's.
Father Christmas, I almost forgot to say... If Ryan Reynolds was under my tree on Christmas morning that would not be a bad thing!
Love, Laura
My name is Laura. I am a girl and I am already 21 years old!! I live in the great city of Tywyn. Of course, that's in Gwynedd, United Kingdom, but I'll bet you knew that!! This year I've been so good that my halo is just a teensy weensy bit crooked!
Father Christmas, some things I might like for Christmas this year are:
- Snow;
- New Riding Boots; and,
- A set of GHD's.
Father Christmas, I almost forgot to say... If Ryan Reynolds was under my tree on Christmas morning that would not be a bad thing!
Love, Laura
And here was Santa's reply:
Hello Laura!!
Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Tywyn! The Net sure is wonderful because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. I can get those wonderful Christmas emails any time of the year now, but it's always special when I get one from you, Laura.
Well bless my whiskers, Laura, you're getting to be quite a big girl! Wow, 21 years old already! Pretty soon you'll be too big to sit on Santa's knee! Well, even though you're getting a little older Laura, Santa's glad to see you still have the Christmas Spirit. I also hear you've been a really good girl. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! Ho!! ho!!).
Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. snow; 2. new riding boots and; 3. a set of ghd's. The elves really like making those presents so I know they'll be happy to hear that's what you want. Of course, there are a lot of good boys and girls in the world and only so many presents so I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you asked for this Christmas.
Before I forget Laura, the elves really want you to visit my new blog! It is called Santa Claus' Christmas Blog. My blog is all about Christmas, life at the North Pole, and me, Santa Claus ! You can even write messages to me and see what others have written. I can hardly wait to see what you write!
HO!! Ho!! ho!! Rudolph wants to take me for another test ride in the sleigh so I better get going! The new sleigh is 'Internet-equipped' so I can even get your emails Christmas Eve when I fly around the world! Take care Laura and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 62 more sleeps until Christmas!!
All My Love,
Father Christmas
Mood at the end of this blog: Greatly Improved. Thanks folks.
Bye for now.
"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" Carrie Bradshaw.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Brigit Jones' Diary???
Weight: Erm...I'll get back to you on that one.
Lbs lost: 5!!!
Boxes of tissues used: 3...now settling for kitchen roll.
Tubs of Ben and Jerry's consumed: 1...so far.
Amount of chocolate eaten: 1 ton!
Chick flicks watched: 3.
Violent Tarantino films: 1.
Number of friends supplying beer, pizza, and a shoulder to cry on: 3!
Mood today? Better. Fluctuating between anger and sadness. Eaten my own body weight in Aunt Bessies Mash! Spent the afternoon mushing food for a pony with a poorly mouth. Currently squashed between two fat snoring cats. Contemplating thinking about possibly going for a bath. Or watching the Xfactor in bed? Any chance of moving the telly so I could watch Xfactor in the bath?
Fancy some chocolate but unfortunately I have none. Sympathy chocolate is most welcome :) No chocolate orange, strawberry cremes or coffee cremes. Cadburys chocolate preferable.
Watched Nigella's cooking program this morning. Why does she say everything like she's trying to seduce the camera (or camera man)? I haven't heard so many adjectives in one place since I read Twilight!
Time to get clean. Bye for now.
Lbs lost: 5!!!
Boxes of tissues used: 3...now settling for kitchen roll.
Tubs of Ben and Jerry's consumed: 1...so far.
Amount of chocolate eaten: 1 ton!
Chick flicks watched: 3.
Violent Tarantino films: 1.
Number of friends supplying beer, pizza, and a shoulder to cry on: 3!
Mood today? Better. Fluctuating between anger and sadness. Eaten my own body weight in Aunt Bessies Mash! Spent the afternoon mushing food for a pony with a poorly mouth. Currently squashed between two fat snoring cats. Contemplating thinking about possibly going for a bath. Or watching the Xfactor in bed? Any chance of moving the telly so I could watch Xfactor in the bath?
Fancy some chocolate but unfortunately I have none. Sympathy chocolate is most welcome :) No chocolate orange, strawberry cremes or coffee cremes. Cadburys chocolate preferable.
Watched Nigella's cooking program this morning. Why does she say everything like she's trying to seduce the camera (or camera man)? I haven't heard so many adjectives in one place since I read Twilight!
Time to get clean. Bye for now.
Where do I start...
"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, woulda, shoulda, buckle up and just keep going." Carrie Bradshaw.
I promised to blog more frequently. I'm sorry that I'm not blogging under better circumstances. I feel this is the best way to get things off my chest even if no-one ever reads it.
If you've ever had your heart broken then you'll know what I'm going through right now. However, having your heart broken twice by the same person by at the tender age of 21, that's unlucky. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Maybe not in this case. Had I never given it another chance, I'd always be wondering what would of happened.
3 weeks ago I had my life planned out. A lovely flat, and a man I was going to to marry and happily spend the rest of my life with. Overnight the whole lot went down the pan. The grief I feel about losing the love of my life for the second time is indescribable.
I feel like someone placed the most amazing cheesecake in front of me, let me have one bite then took it away! Like I lost on a game show and the host said "This is what you could of won". If only my life was like "Sliding doors" and I had the chance to see what two different paths my life could take.
This whole thing has got me wondering, when did the boundaries of relationships become so blurred. It feels that these days a marriage, an engagement, love, is seen as a challenge rather than being out of bounds. Something to destroy rather than respect. I know this doesn't apply to all women, or even all men but having already suffered so much in order for some stranger to be happy, it is hard to keep the faith.
It's fair to say my pride is bruised. I feel naive and stupid. Like the whole world is pointing at me and saying "See, I told you so". But I also feel brave, for having the strength to try again. I know that in time I will be able to forget the bitterness we feel now, and look back at the good times and be glad that I had them.
To quote the wise woman, Carrie Bradshaw "Can you make a mistake and miss your fate?". I believe that you can. And have.
I promised to blog more frequently. I'm sorry that I'm not blogging under better circumstances. I feel this is the best way to get things off my chest even if no-one ever reads it.
If you've ever had your heart broken then you'll know what I'm going through right now. However, having your heart broken twice by the same person by at the tender age of 21, that's unlucky. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Maybe not in this case. Had I never given it another chance, I'd always be wondering what would of happened.
3 weeks ago I had my life planned out. A lovely flat, and a man I was going to to marry and happily spend the rest of my life with. Overnight the whole lot went down the pan. The grief I feel about losing the love of my life for the second time is indescribable.
I feel like someone placed the most amazing cheesecake in front of me, let me have one bite then took it away! Like I lost on a game show and the host said "This is what you could of won". If only my life was like "Sliding doors" and I had the chance to see what two different paths my life could take.
This whole thing has got me wondering, when did the boundaries of relationships become so blurred. It feels that these days a marriage, an engagement, love, is seen as a challenge rather than being out of bounds. Something to destroy rather than respect. I know this doesn't apply to all women, or even all men but having already suffered so much in order for some stranger to be happy, it is hard to keep the faith.
It's fair to say my pride is bruised. I feel naive and stupid. Like the whole world is pointing at me and saying "See, I told you so". But I also feel brave, for having the strength to try again. I know that in time I will be able to forget the bitterness we feel now, and look back at the good times and be glad that I had them.
To quote the wise woman, Carrie Bradshaw "Can you make a mistake and miss your fate?". I believe that you can. And have.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
It's been a while...
Scary fact: I have not blogged since 2008!
So, dear reader...yes just one...as I know you have waited with bated breath, wondering if I'll ever return, here it is!
You've missed many obsessions in the last two years. Gone are the days of throwing sheep at each other on Facebook and in with the days of fertilizing a neighbours crops on Farmville. No, that's not my new obsession (although while you were gone I became a member of the Twi-hard religion, but thats a whole other blog). No readers, my current obsession is this...
Before you read on, click this link, pick a song, and listen to it. I hope you like it, because you'll be singing it all day.
http://www.myspace.com/thedirtydelinquents
This, ladies and gentlemen, is my new obsession.
This Liverpool based band first came into my life in July, when my fiance became their new drummer. It was love at first sight and sound! Switch's effortless vocals alongside Meg's catchy synths make for irresistible listening. The two talented guitarists, Tom on lead and Paul on bass are the cherry on top! The drummer is absolutely bloody gorgeous...and of course an incredibly talented drummer.
The Dirty Delinquents have recently spent 2 days recording three of their catchiest tracks which you can find on their Myspace page. I guarantee you will love them as much as I do (my personal favourite being Romance is dead).
On stage these guys will blow you away. I love their confident yet laid back style. If your feet aren't tapping then they're probably glued to the floor.
Join them on Facebook, Myspace, get to a gig and bring your friends! This band deserve a chance! When I hear some of the utter shite in the charts it makes me crazy to think that here we have a talented band who need to be heard!
I think all that's left to say is happy listening! See you at the next gig ;-)
Next time on my Blog...TWILIGHT!
So, dear reader...yes just one...as I know you have waited with bated breath, wondering if I'll ever return, here it is!
You've missed many obsessions in the last two years. Gone are the days of throwing sheep at each other on Facebook and in with the days of fertilizing a neighbours crops on Farmville. No, that's not my new obsession (although while you were gone I became a member of the Twi-hard religion, but thats a whole other blog). No readers, my current obsession is this...
Before you read on, click this link, pick a song, and listen to it. I hope you like it, because you'll be singing it all day.
http://www.myspace.com/thedirtydelinquents
This, ladies and gentlemen, is my new obsession.
This Liverpool based band first came into my life in July, when my fiance became their new drummer. It was love at first sight and sound! Switch's effortless vocals alongside Meg's catchy synths make for irresistible listening. The two talented guitarists, Tom on lead and Paul on bass are the cherry on top! The drummer is absolutely bloody gorgeous...and of course an incredibly talented drummer.
The Dirty Delinquents have recently spent 2 days recording three of their catchiest tracks which you can find on their Myspace page. I guarantee you will love them as much as I do (my personal favourite being Romance is dead).
On stage these guys will blow you away. I love their confident yet laid back style. If your feet aren't tapping then they're probably glued to the floor.
Join them on Facebook, Myspace, get to a gig and bring your friends! This band deserve a chance! When I hear some of the utter shite in the charts it makes me crazy to think that here we have a talented band who need to be heard!
I think all that's left to say is happy listening! See you at the next gig ;-)
Next time on my Blog...TWILIGHT!
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