If I were a boy...

I'm sorry mes amis, I've tried to be dignified but I'm about to blow it all out the window! How can he sit there and tell me there's no one else and then post on his Facebook "he wishes she was here"!!! I am more than sure that he is not referring to me! Just how stupid does he think I am? Oh yes 2 weeks is the perfect amount of time to get over someone you were engaged to! Or make that minus 2 weeks cause he was already meeting her while we were still together!!!

I have so much hate for this girl, that could take him away from me knowing that we were engaged. What kind of girl does that? And how can they both live with themselves knowing what they have done! If I thought I caused another girl to retire to her room and cry until her face is puffy and there is no trace of mascara left, I would not be able to live with myself.

I keep thinking "Don't let it bother you, you don't even want him". True but I feel like I'm underwater and I can't get to the surface. Just as I get there the current drags be back down and I'm crushed by the weight of everything I've lost. The most painful thing to deal with is his cruelty. He was supposed to love me, he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with me. How can he just turn that off and turn into a monster who hates me? I know you can't answer these questions folks but I just thought I'd put them out there.

I'm going to leave you with a song that brightened my day a little.
Bye for now.

Beyonce - If I were a boy (click here)

If I were a boy, even just for a day

I'd roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls

I'd kick it with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

Because they'd stick up for me

If I were a boy, I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her, because I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Because he's taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone

Tell everyone that it's broken

So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first, and make the rules as I go

Because I know that she'd be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy, I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her, because I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Because he's taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back

Say it's just a mistake, think I'd forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong

But you're just a boy . . . you don't understand

(And you don't understand, oh)

How it feels to love a girl

Some day, you'll wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her, you don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

Because you've taken her for granted

And everything that you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy